The hunt

July 2nd, 2009
posted by Ambassador Sestito

Finding good employees is not easy. A friend was browsing resumes of local candidates and here is what he found under the “skills” section:

Chinese - Good
Japanese - Not sure
 

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    Transformers

    July 2nd, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito
    An interesting analysis of Transformers 2 (really bad movie) from China Youth Daily. The review, in a nutshell, argues that the movie is a vehicle to reenforce the idea of America as a military powerhouse and defender of values to both domestic and international audiences. I tend to agree, which makes you wonder why, when China only allows 20 foreign films to enter its market each year, does it allow ones like this that perpetuate America as a place filled with kick-ass people and Kung Fu Panda which makes Chinese wonder, ‘how come the Americans can make something about our culture better than we can?’. Is it to motivate their own people? Or is it just poor choices on the part of the Film Bureau? In any case, the point here is the same as with why Google needs to be in China - not to liberate the Chinese or give them access to information, but to show that we rock. It’s just that simple. Check out the review.

    Watching Transformers 2 was undoubtedly an audio-visual feast.  Just like the first movie, this was not just an entertainment film for the eyes and ears, because it also reflects the ideology and attitudes of America.  Through this film, the intention of the American military to promote its global strategy and armament was expressed to its fullest.

    First, the advanced weaponry of the American military was fully presented in Transformers 2.

    The American Defense Department provided the White Sands missile testing ground to the film crew for the final battle scene.  In terms of weaponry, it provided two A-10 jet fighters, six F-16 jet fighters, ten armored Hummer vehicles, two M1A2 tanks and the aircraft carrier USS John C. Stennis.

    As everybody knows, these are the “traditional products” that America pushes in the international armaments market.  The movie showed the mobility and excellent qualities of these products.  They are going to be tempting for arms purchasers as well as nations in conflict zones.  In reality, these are not the most advanced weaponry.  For example, take the F-16 jet fighters that American likes to sell to conflict zones and third world countries.  Although it has a mature technology, it is not the most advanced American jet fighter.  The most advanced American jet fighter is the F-22, but it is not being exported.  Technologically speaking, the F-22 is a complete generation ahead of the F-16.

    In conclusion: You can watch my advanced weaponry in this movie!  Come and buy some now!  But I won’t sell you my best stuff!  So even if you spend a lot of money, you won’t be able to beat me!

    One netizen said jokingly: “Transformers 1 was advertising for American automobiles, whereas the sequel was advertising automobiles alongside weaponry!  You even have to pay to watch the advertising!”

    Secondly, American has global strategic and military plans.  America believes that other nations should cooperate with its strategies.

    At the beginning of the movie, the American military and the Autobots were fighting the Decepticons in the streets of Shanghai.  The Egyptian air force and the American military attacked the Decepticons on the pyramid together.  Actually, we observe the typical thinking of the American military: no matter whether it is the yet-to-happen alien invasion of Earth, or the regional conflicts or human wars on Earth, the best guarantee for world security and defending human civilization is to unite politically with America at the core and to have the American military as the command center.

    Throughout history, America has interfered with the internal politics of other nations using excuses such as “democracy,” “human rights” and “religious freedom.”  There are even numerous examples of America starting wars.  The justification for attacking Iraq was because that nation possessed “weapons of mass destruction.”  Have they found them yet?

    The movie debuted around the world on the same day.  It showed the strength of American power and the role of the American military in defending peace and justice.  The imperceptible influence on the whole world (especially the young people) is: it is legitimate and just for America to station troops all over the world; if not, who is going to save you against the alien invaders from outer space or the “axis of evil” or “rogue nations” on earth?

    Thirdly, the movie is deliberately trying to idealize the image of American soldiers.

    I can clearly remember the scene in Transformers 1 in which the American soldiers formed friendly relationships with local children in the Middle East.  In Transformers 2, when the Decepticons attacked the Egyptian village, the American soldiers and the Egyptian militia fought alongside each other while actively evacuating civilians on camels.  This is using military-civilian harmony to make up for the dreadful image of American soldiers in the Middle East.

    The movie gave a full portrayal of the bravery and fearlessness of American soldiers.  As a Transformer fan said: “When I watched the Transformer cartoons in my youth, human weapons were basically useless against the Transformers.  But in the movie Transformers 2, human weapons could knock down the Decepticons.  The invincible Devastator was easily knocked off the pyramid by a shot from an American destroyer.”

    The Pentagon has no compunction in stating that apart from providing the grounds and various weapons, they also provided extra actors who are current servicemen who had just returned from Afghanistan and Iraq.  They were willing to provide so much support for one reason — to create a good and positive image for the American military.

    Actually, it is customary for Hollywood to use movies to communicate American values to the world.  In the past, the best example was Titanic.  But I think that the most successful collaborations with the military are these two Transformer movies.

    http://club.cat898.com/newbbs/dispbbs.asp?boardid=1&id=2893063

    Translation via http://www.zonaeuropa.com/weblog.htm

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    Keep it white

    July 2nd, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito
    Dear Chinese people:

    You are taking this keeping your skin white thing a little too far. 
    Sincerely,
    White Man

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    More tv

    July 1st, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito
    Can’t get enough of Chinese television, especially the local stuff. Here’s a bit from something I saw the other day:  

    Background: 2 guys and a girl crash into another car after consuming a lot of alcohol. The police arrive and say they cannot drive the car because it is obvious they have been drinking. They get angry and start to argue with the police. The woman bites the cop. Later, the police arrest her.
    Interview: Why did you bite the police officer? Because, usually, at home, when I am mad at my husband, I bite him. I’m just used to it.
    I can’t make this up.
    Another funny thing about TV here. Whenever they catch criminals, they make the criminals re-enact the crime for the tv program. So maybe it’s pick pocketing, maybe it’s robbery. Whatever it is, they have to reenact it. Besides that, they have to stand in front of the place and all together (if they have accomplices) point to the person or business they committed the crime against.

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    I’m a daddy!!!

    July 1st, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito
    Not really, but in a New Yorker podcast, Jill Lepore discusses parenthood and playground conversations
    “…parenthood can be lonely….somedays you’re desperate to talk to somebody…to have conversation with a grown up…but somedays the person that wants to talk to you wants to have a conversation with you that you’ve already had 10,000 times…”
    For some reason, this comment really struck me as what life in China is like, because after you tire of pampering the locals all day, you don’t necessarily want to talk to other foreigners (the DJ is ok, of course) at night. And for that reason, life in China can be lonely.

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    Bin Laden in America

    July 1st, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito
    Over at The New Yorker, Steve Coll finally has an answer to whether or not Osama Bin Laden has been to America. Being a journalist, of course, he needed facts, but any layman would have told you yes, of course he has been. Everyday thousands of people like OBL - those who wish the demise of America and its values - pass through the country for business or less virtuous pursuits. Sadly, even more like-minded folks live in the US, have US passports or refugee status, and sustain themselves with a steady diet of loathing and hate of us and our ideals.  

    Najwa Bin Laden, Osama’s first wife, has written a book that includes information about the two-week trip to America that she and OBL took:

    There was one incident that reminded me that some Americans are unaware of other cultures. When the time came for us to leave America, Osama and I, along with our two boys, waited for our departure at the airport in Indiana. I was sitting quietly in my chair, relaxing, grateful that our boys were quiet….

    I saw an American man gawking at me. I knew without asking that his unwelcome attention had been snagged by my black Saudi costume…

    I took a side glance at Osama and saw that he was intently studying the curious man. I knew that my husband would never allow the man to approach me…

    When my husband and I discussed the incident, we were both more amused than offended. That man gave us a good laugh, as it was clear he had no knowledge of veiled women…

    We returned to Saudi Arabia none the worse for our experiences.

    In another account, it was more than one man and the people actually took photos of her. When they returned to Saudi Arabia, OBL told others of the incident and what it was like “being in a show”. Regardless of which account is closer to reality, Najwa is quite tactful in her description. I wonder if I could do the same if I wrote a book about being here.

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    Ayo!

    July 1st, 2009
    posted by Your Designer

    A! Someone is jocking the Ambassador’s style. Mei Banfa.

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    More lists

    June 30th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito

    I’m just the messenger.

    We are in the 4th least friendly city in China.

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    she she t way

    June 30th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito

    That’s how CCTV, the state owned television station, is pronounced here. A joke I just read about their nightly news broadcast:

    “In the first 10 minutes the leaders are very busy, if not abroad then in the countryside. In the middle 10 minutes, the whole nation is very happy, if not getting rich then harvesting crops. In the last 10 minutes, other countries are all very sad, if not exploding then rioting. Conclusion: life in China is very happy.”

    I couldn’t say it better myself. The nightly news really gives you that North Korea feel. The broadcasters don’t use teleprompters. They read from papers on the desk in front of them, only making eye contact with you when they are not reading. You can easily imagine someone standing on the side with a shotgun pointed at them. And other programming, not just the nightly news, seem obsessed with America and American people. We are a sort of benchmark for them, but lacking (or maybe ignoring) any real facts (besides us being fat, violent, and imperialistic), they fall short of any provocative analysis, but always with the same final conclusion: China is strong, life in China is very happy. It’s hysterical to outsiders, but it seems to really satisfy the palettes of local people.

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    This is how u LOCK IN!

    June 30th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito

    http://www.secretstill.com/blog/2009/06/30/paul-torres/

    http://saucebomb.blogspot.com/2009/06/complex-fruit.html

    http://www.designworklife.com/?p=6696

    http://joshuablankenship.com/blog/2009/06/25/complex-fruit-custom-typography-design/

    Your Designer threw away the key. Push, baby, push!!!

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    sex in Starbucks

    June 29th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito
    I could write a book about my adventures in Starbucks. As I’ve said before, they’ve over-succeeded in making it a “third place” for people. It’s just too comfortable and gives people the impression they are free to do just about anything.    

    One thing you’ll see in Starbucks here are high school kids wrapped up in those comfy chairs, sipping a green tea iced latte, whispering sweet nothings in each others ears, and maybe (definitely) doing some heavy petting and kissing. The other day, though, two youngsters took it a bit further and, a la Humpty D, got busy in the bathroom.    

    I saw these two huddling, cuddling in the corner when I came in. Thirty minutes passes when the girl, in a short pink tennis skirt (these kids are prepared), gets up and walks into the uni-sex bathroom, the boy a few steps behind her. The door opens 15 minutes later and the girl comes out. Seeing this, another patron tries to enter, but the door has already closed because the guy is still inside. He comes out a minute later, some customers give them a look, but say nothing. 

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    livable

    June 29th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito

    China’s most livable city (Tianjin, as ranked by the Economist Intelligence Unit) is ranked by Newsweek as the 13th most difficult outposts for expats. Suzhou, the “Venice of the East” as the Chinese call it, is ranked 14th. 

    Suzhou, by the way, is the city the American guy I sat next to on the plane back home last year, was stationed in for a few months. He was in a bit of shock and couldn’t stop looking out the window and saying the following:
    “No birds. I didn’t see any birds”.
    Then later (in Chinese):
    “Hello. Thank you. Goodbye.” 
    And finally:
    “The girls. They’re so young.”
    Meanwhile, Zurich tops Monocle’s top 25 most livable cities, with only one (Honolulu) from the US, a few from Canada, none from China or Africa, and three from Japan. Europe seems to dominate this list, not surprisingly.

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    Mixed signals

    June 28th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito
    A recent taxi ride serves as a good example about how the words and actions of people here often don’t coincide.
    I saw an empty taxi stuck in traffic. Waiting for it means someone will get there first, so I walk to it. Usually, I just hop in, but it’s odd that during such a busy time and place, a taxi is empty. The “available” sign is on, but it’s not uncommon for taxi’s to have this on even when they’re off duty.
    I knock on the window. “You on duty?”.
    Refuses to make eye contact with me, shakes head and hands furiously. I think that means no.
    He rolls down the window.
    “You on duty?”
    “Huh?”
    “You going or not?”
    “No”
    “Let’s go”, I plead.
    “Traffic”
    “Come on”
    “Traffic”
    I open the door. Traffic moves, he starts to drive away. Luckily, I balanced myself between the door and running board and, after a few seconds of surfing.
    “Where do you want too go?”
    I tell him
    “I don’t know”, he says while turning on the meter.
    “Traffic”, he starts to complain again. “We’ll need an hour to get there.”
    I ignore him.
    Two minutes later we are out of traffic.
    We are driving down a four lane, two way road. We are in the far right lane with two cars in front of us. There is a stop sign ahead. 
    He puts on his left turn signal, speeds up, and swerves across two lanes into oncoming traffic. As we arrived at the stop sign, we pull even with the two cars in the lanes that we should be in. 
    He pauses for the slightest moment and turns…..RIGHT, across the two other cars.
    Lessons:
    1. Push
    2. Don’t listen to what anyone says here

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    subtitles

    June 28th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito

    The news sometimes has interviews with foreigners; brief sound bites on a new government policy or story. They provide Chinese subtitles for translation of the foreigner’s comments. The subtitles are sometimes different than what the foreigner said.

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    trips and falls

    June 28th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito

    Whenever I’m humiliated by someone here, my Chinese friends (I know, I gotta watch those oxymorons) give me a standard response:

    “No way. He’s just curious. He’s friendly. Chinese are friendly people, don’t you agree. He didn’t mean it. He couldn’t have thought it was offensive.”

    Well, the last part is true. People don’t think. So recently, when a Chinese friend was thoughtlessly humiliated, I relished in the moment of being able to completely disregard her emotions and regurgitate those words, like a pithy government slogan. 

    Anyway, I can’t say I’ve gotten used to being humiliated here, but it is a fact of life. I compare it to humidity because 1. it’s a natural part of the environment, 2. you know it’s there, but don’t feel it until you leave your home and when you do, 3. it’s everywhere and you can’t control it.

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    The push

    June 28th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito

    I was watching an interview of George Soros at Peking University. Soros is old, a little fragile it seems, but still sharp. The interview ended and the people from the audience rushed to the stage and about knocked him over, grabbing and pulling at him in different directions trying to get their photo taken by his side.

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    The critique

    June 26th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito

    Gucci designer struggles to find something good to say about the style of people in Shanghai. She starts with a big photo of herself, fumbles around and ends by complimenting herself.

    http://themoment.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/26/frida-gianninis-postcards-from-china/

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    How much to buy a “f*** your mother”?

    June 26th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito

    A while back, someone in China created a mythical creature called “cao ni ma” (literally, “grass mud horse”) whose pronunciation sounds like “f#&$ your mother”. The horse had it’s own song and video and spurred a whole array of accessories bearing it’s image, including a stuffed “f#$% your mother” horse. The other day, I saw one of the stuffed animals in a store window and couldn’t contain myself:

    {running into the store} “f#&$ your mother! f#&$ your mother!

    {grabbing the horse} “oh, f#&$ your mother!”

    {having conversation with the horse} “what? f#&$ my mother? No! f#&$ your mother!”

    “How much is this?”, holding a white version of the horse.

    “40 rmb”, the girl says.

    “And this one?”, holding a brown version?

    “Isn’t it the same?”, she asks condescendingly.

    “Well, isn’t whiter skin preferred here? I thought I’d have to pay a premium for a white “f#&$ your mother!”

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    Let’s go to hell

    June 25th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito
    The entrance to my apartment (I live in a French super market) is on a busy side street. It was two-ways until the other day when a sign was put up that said “Do not enter” . Still, out of habit, or maybe neglect, people were using it as a two way. I was in a taxi, approaching the street head on, when the driver asked, “which way?”. I said, straight. My companion (a young mei mei, of course) also said “keep going”, not knowing that it was a newly minted one way. The driver (a 40 something gent), while proceeding directly into the street said, “but I can’t”. “You can”, said my friend. “I can’t” (we have already entered the street by this time). “You did”. “Because you told me to”. “You’re the driver, you have a choice”. “But you told me to go straight”. “I’m not driving”. “Yeah, and you don’t have to pay the fine if I get caught”. “Listen, you have a choice”. “But you told me to go straight”. “I’m not driving”. “But you told me to”. “You have control of the car”. “I did it for you”. “But I don’t have control of the car, you do”. “You told me to”. “If I tell you to go to hell, would you”. “Yes”. “Okay, go to hell”. “Okay. How about we go together?”.
    For me, this is the best part of the Chinese character - the absurdity of the situation, the back and forth, the anger without completely going ape shit…it’s cute and harmonious

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    Google

    June 25th, 2009
    posted by Ambassador Sestito
    In case you haven’t been following:
    Google China is being castigated by the CCP for search results that link to pornography. Basically, “Google keywords”, which offers often used search terms, can lead a user to (maybe unwanted) unharmonious content (e.g. mei mei’s mei mei). Google’s domestic competitor, Baidu, also uses the keywords technology and offers similar results, but made a big pay off to the government in the form of a sponsorship, so they are safe. This is basically the government’s way of 1. justifying the need for the new censorship software (not surprisingly, this software uses code stolen from an American software company…sigh) that the government wants installed on new computers beginning in July and 2. a way to attack Google’s market share, which has been rising since it entered the Chinese market. On top of that, CCTV (State sponsored TV) interviewed a young guy who blamed Google searches for his addiction, relapse into porn. Turns out the guy works for CCTV. Not surprising, but at a time when CCTV is dedicating a lot of resources abroad to become a reliable source of news and information, this doesn’t bid well. 

    The irony is this, though - “Don’t be evil” company comes to China under the assumption that “more information is better than no information”. Google does have a superior product (never enough here), but it does not provide otherwise inaccessible information to Chinese. As such, this was either a poor excuse or a classic example of American naivety (arrogance). Even if available, people (Americans and otherwise) generally avoid information that does not confirm their current beliefs. Especially here, people have little interest in facts, have a vague idea of “truth”, and an even more obscure view of “right” and “wrong”. It’s said that “facts are stubborn things”, but ideology is more stubborn. That said, Google does need to be in China for one reason and one reason only - to show that, yes, we produce better products.

    Link below for detailed info on the story.

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