You dont mind using it. Maybe a little, but you understand our social contract - I believe its article five: the funk free clause.

Im a functional type of guy, so in University, when I was introduced (by Kris Graves, also the introducer of thigh high Nike soccer socks that we rocked with our footbal uniforms) to the d-o that is *so effective you can skip a day*, I was downright giddy. Since then Ive been using the gel because, quite frankly, I dont want to be the guy with moth balls in his pits. No complaints here on the claim, but there has been one major side effect - it stains the pits of my shirts.

Seriously, them yellow spots just arent attractive, I dont care how you spin it or even if you wear matching yellow shoe laces. It just wont fly, especially with the beauties in Tokyo. Besides, maybe the only thing worse than actually smelling bad is looking like you smell bad.

Is it the gel, the brand, me? I need a resolution, quickly. I dont want to play any part in adding *yellow pits* to the list of expressions used to describe Americans.

You smell me?