A lot has been made of so-called Asian Fusion cuisine. Auditors pull out the corporate AMEX to splurge on dishes that the guys on the corner in China can whip up for 20RMB. Some, especially in NYC, even make artful discussion out of relationships between Whites and Asians, another type of Asian Fusion. 

On my trip, a lot has been made of toilets and using the bathroom. But no matter my clever commentary, I have fallen short because I’ve yet to fuse the east and west…until now. Look no further.

The No. 9 sister guesthouse, my current accommodation here in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, has given me that chance. So, today (8/26/06), I’m proud to introduce the most recent Asian Fusion - skybombing. That is, squatting eastern style on western toilets with no seat. Got a visual on that? Hi Mom. Make ya proud?

Everyone was awake by 1000 for our first full day in PP. We decided to go shooting. We each secured a moto driver for $5 and set off. We headed southwest, outside PP city limits, about 15km from our GH. he city was bustling with traffic that, to an outsider, would appear disorderly and chaotic. But to the residents of PP, the chaos is controlled and everyone moves to a common rhythm. As we made our way to the outskirts of the city, the decline in the number of people mirrored the quality of roads. At one point, a complete section of the road was missing. We had to get off the moto and walk across wooden planks. Our driver had to do the same (with the bike). And they charged a tool at the other side. After 30 minutes or so of driving, we turned right on a dirt road, marked only by the towering blue sign with white lettering that is common in the country. It read: “Cambodian People’s Party”. Another 300m and we truned left into a 5 foot wide rusted, metal door that was swung open. Awaiting us was a menu (literally) of shooting options. “Welcome to the Happy Club Shooting Range”, it read in rainbow colored letters, likely designed using Wordart. Like the sex menus in Bangkok to a Hustler subscriber, this could satisfy the fetish of any Guns & Ammo reader. AK-47s, RPDs, Rocket Launcher, Antiaircraft, Hand Grenades, and at the bottom, “cold drinks”, everything with a corresponding price. One guy attend to us while another cleaned the inventory, each piece mounted on a brick wall. I’d shot all the others back in Price Hill, so I chose the AK, as did the others. We put on camouflage jackets, mine with a patch of the Cambodian flag on the right sleeve, the perfect contrast to the stripes on my Brooks Brother button up that I used to perform audits of Fortune 500 companies in. We entered the dark range, equipped with headphones to protect our ears from the thunder that would be unleashed from each squeeze of the trigger. The target was set and we were asked who wanted to go first. “I will”, I volunteered. I was pumped to be shooting an AK. The barrel was positioned on a wishbone rest. I hugged the butt between my shoulder and chest, supporting the barrel with my left hand and ready to scratch the trigger with my right. BAP! The loudness of the first shot surprised me, us all. Even with protection, my ears felt pierced. BAP!….BAP!…I was at ease, so I squeezed, held….but it only let out one shot…because it wasn’t set to “automatic”. A couple more solo rounds and the guy switched the setting I set my sights and sprayed away. I’ve got video for ya! David and Sam took their turns and the target was retrieved. Had that been Laden, we’d have been heroes, I imagine. We took our photos, paid our dues ($30/person), and were off. We told our drivers that we’d also like to see The Killing Fields (Choeng Ek)today. They said it’d be best to go shooting first, since it was farther out, and then we could work our way back to the city. But I believe the real reason we started out shooting was because they knew well that if we saw the ‘fields’ first, we’d be in no mood to engage in any such activity. And they get paid commission off of the ranges, so…Why do I believe this? Well, less than 2km from where we shot AKs, lie The Killing Fields. As I’m sure you can imagine, I was shocked - adrenaline still pumping through my veins when we stopped 5 minutes away and they said, “we’re her”. “We are?”, I thought? What a contrast of emotions. What irony. We toured the fields. I took photos for you to see. We continued to the Toul Sleng Prison, Museum of Genocide. I can’t really write much on this because I’m not one for those type of pieces. We returned to the GH after an intense morning. Went for some food and generally relaxed the rest of the day, going out for dinner where I had a two beefburgers and two orders of fries. To think I was a vegetarian for 5 years. Washed them down with cold jugs of Anchor beer and watched the Liverpool v. West Ham futbol match. I was pretty well full and slept soon after returning from dinner.

We woke at 0630. Our bus for Phnom Penh was scheduled to leave at 0730. We gathered our belongings and made our way to the hotel lobby. As far as transportation is concerned, I had no (read: low) expectations. I’d heard the road to PP was relatively nice, so a mini-bus or bus would suffice, I gathered.

We were picked up by a mini-van around 0715. David was at the market prices on buns (the sort where yeast is a good thing) for breakfast, so we waited few minutes for him to return before setting out. After jumping a couple of blocks to the bus terminal (I use the term terminal loosely, because in these parts there is no official terminal. It’s more like a market and a bus on the corner. Think Chinatown buses in NYC then multiply by a gulliness factor equal to pi).

We jumped on (seat 26). The guy asked me (read: told me) to keep my bag with me because it was small. But it was too big to fit in the overhead compartment or under my seat, so I was forced to turn it into a foot rest. 90%+ of the passengers were Cambodians, so we were treated, on the first leg of the trip, to Khmer-style soft porn/horror flicks, and on the second leg, to Khmer-oke. I tried to zone out the man-made entertainment and enjoy the sights provided by my window seat, but the glowing sun proved too much, leaving me as blurry eyed as the TV left me terrified. I pulled the yellow curtains shut and for a good part of the 6 hour journey, waking for the WC breaks for a stretch and to catch a glimpse of the ton we’d entered.

We’d heard stories from other travellers about arriving by bus in PP. Armed guards, they said, would escort us off the bus, allow us to gather our packs and set us off into the chaos of Cambodia’s capital. We’d be bombarded by beggar’s, young and old, pickpockets, and the ever-dreaded tuk tuk drivers, all (literally) pulling us in different directions. Well, outside the terminal (read: market) there were armed guards, but they didn’t escort us anywhere. And there were beggars, but not hoards of them, and certainly not as bad as those in Siem Reap. And of course the drivers were there, covering the front and back of the bus, boxing us in and forcing us to pass them when exiting. We found a TT for $2 and were driven to the No. 9 sister guesthouse. We took the first room they showed us - 3 beds (mosquito nets included), private bathroom, but no toilet seat, all for $5/night.

The GH was quite nice, actually. It sits Boeng Kak Lake, so when you walk to the back, either side lined with exotic greenery in front of each room, there is a bar, pool table, hammocks, couches, and TV/DVD, all lakeside and facing west so guests can catch the sunset. The community itself is one geared toward budget travellers - self-contained, offering travel products, accommodation, food, clothing, entertainment, etc. It’s quite nice, comfortable, but I can’t help but think the real goal is to break out of the tourist bubble we’re so often guided into (or do we put ourselves into?). Otherwise, what’s the point? Siem Reap, for example, is a bubble itself, with even the locals living a life of confinement. A marriage, functional, but maybe not happy, of the USD and the lives of its residents.

The real goal: Go Deep. Be a local. Unfortunately, I don’t always achieve this. Anyway, burst that thought bubble. Moving on. We took a stroll to survey the community and find something to eat. We stumbled upon a slick, peanut butter filled mouth, talking South Indian who boasted his restaurant was the only in the area with a real Indian chef. It was $2, all you can eat, so we headed back to his place after exploring the bit. The food was good, save the nan, which was too thin, crispy. We headed back to the GH, bellies full, kind of like than one of those old aunties with her gut hangin’ out the side of her sari. Full of carbs, I fell asleep. When I woke, it was dinner time, so we headed to The Flying Elephant. After pizza and some beers, we headed home for an early rest.

The guys woke a little after 1000AM, myself around 0830AM. I used the time to update my journal, which I am caught up on, except for the events from the night preceding our departure from Bangkok. Once everyone was ready to tackle Battambang, we headed into the scorching sun, red-necked, legs, armed, etc. and in some pain good enough to teach us not to sit on the top of a boat for eight hours without wearing sunscreen.  We strolled around town, across the river, back, and to the town market where I bought a bar of soap. Despite clearly being labelled, I didn’t realize that “Whitening soap” was meant to make your skin white. I reckon the woman at the store was thinking, ‘why’s this white guy buying whitening soap?’ Titanium dioxide aside, I think it should be okay.   We settled at Sunrise Coffee House nearby the hotel. We ate, used the Internet and headed to the room for TV, sleep, and relaxation. Back to White Rose in the evening for dinner and smoothies. Another early rest. 

The guys woke a little after 1000AM, myself around 0830AM. I used the time to update my journal, which I am caught up on, except for the events from the night preceding our departure from Bangkok. Once everyone was ready to tackle Battambang, we headed into the scorching sun, red-necked, legs, armed, etc. and in some pain good enough to teach us not to sit on the top of a boat for eight hours without wearing sunscreen.

We strolled around town, across the river, back, and to the town market where I bought a bar of soap. Despite clearly being labelled, I didn’t realize that “Whitening soap” was meant to make your skin white. I reckon the woman at the store was thinking, ‘why’s this white guy buying whitening soap?’ Titanium dioxide aside, I think it should be okay. 

We settled at Sunrise Coffee House nearby the hotel. We ate, used the internet and headed to the room for TV, sleep, and relaxation. Back to White Rose in the evening for dinner and smoothies. Another early rest.

I slept for most of the flight, falling asleep immediately after take-off and waking for the last 20 minutes to have the midnight snack the stewardess had left on the tray table to the right of me. I occupied the window seat - 7a - and the other two - 7b and 7c - on my side of the aisle were unoccupied.

We landed around 0210 Thai time, one hour behind the standard time in China. BTW, did you know that, vast as it is, all of China has only one time zone. That is true Parker Lewis Can’t Lose style - “synchronize watches”. Are you too young for that? Am I dating myself with that reference?

Anyway, I got stamped in and made my way to a waiting area (the only area) where I would try to rest until heading to the hostel in the morning. I met a security guard re-enter the secure area to exchange cash. He let me go and once I was finished, we chatted for 30 minutes or so. He’s originally from the city of Roi Et. He was kind enough to grab me a map and some tourist info on Bangkok. I had already started studying a map I had taken earlier. I sat for the next 5 hours, until around 0800, in a hard, orange plastic seat and traded short spurts of shut eye for peeks at veiled women flying in from the UAE and Euros with their clear bags that they’re required (do to terrorist scares) to use for carry-ons.

I went to the Men’s room and washed up before heading to the bus stop outside the terminal. By this time it was 0930. The bus came about 25 minutes later. On my way to the hostel, the first thing that caught my attention was a large billboard on the side of the highway proclaiming, “Welcome to the World’s #1 Rubber Summit”. Well, if that ain’t irony - the Rubber Summit being held in Bangkok, of all places - then I don’t know what is. The second thing that struck me was the plentiful and large (think covering the side of a skyscraper) assortment of pictures featuring the king and queen, along with the reminders to, “honor the king and live a self-sufficient life”. I’m sorry, but any people who bow submissively or look so admirably to one man, be he a King, President, CEO, or rock star, are, in my opinion, not fit to inhabit this earth. It made me curious about the mentality of Thai people. I came to learn that they are super-defensive of him. Basically, they are fanatical to the point of annoyance. Did you know, it is a crime to step on money because the king’s face is on it?

Rewind, the first thing that struck me was all the Western men with a “Thai Trollop” (credit someone else for that expression) on their arm. Seems so common, like watches, you’d think they were accessories. But I can understand why - the Thai women I’ve seen thus far have been overwhelmingly gorgeous. So, without a Thai girl, I almost felt out of place. But don’t worry, because when I got off at my stop, there was a guy, picture book and all, offering me anything I could want, and plenty more that I didn’t. I politely declined and proceeded to the hostel - The Urban Age.

I chose this hostel because it had good reviews, some of which mentioned that three girls ran the place. Sure enough, when I arrived, I was greeted by three smiling faces, one of which knew me from emails we exchanged last week discussing my arrival time. I checked in and was shown to my room, a six-person dormitory. I grabbed my needle and thread and, resolving to fix my fly, headed back down to the lobby, where it was cool, to fix my zipper. I took my time and, after an hour or so, had my crotch stitched up. I changed back into my shorts and decided to venture out for some local food. Much to my disappointment, I was told that it was a national holiday - Mother’s Day - so many eateries were closed. Instantly, I began to compare (well, maybe I had already started the comparison when I saw the Thai beauties) Bangkok to Chengdu.  Surely Chengdu ren wouldn’t let something as minor as a national holiday prevent them from eating out. Beauties and food, it’s really apples and oranges, or should I say xigua and durian, so I decided to cool it with my comparative analysis and just enjoy each place for what it is. One of the girls directed me to a local spot - Dee’s Silom - just around the corner. I ordered a water and a noddle salad, which was, allegedly, “spicy”. But they taste buds came back with a negative verdict.

After lunch, I wandered the empty streets before finding my way to a statue of king Rama that sits in front of Lumphini Park, where I sit now on the bank of a lake while the black clouds of Thailand’s rainy season congregate above. As I made my way out of the Park, it started raining. I took shelter under two different Thai-style gazebos, moving from the first to the second as the rain fall fluctuated. After a short time, the clouds passed and I made my way back to the hostel for some planning. After a while, I set out, once again in search of local food. I walked for an hour before finding something that looked appealing. In a tarp covered market, I ordered a bowl of noodles and two pancake-like patties that included egg, some type of seafood, and a side of sweet sauce. I crushed and relaxed a bit before heading to a drug store to by shaving materials and deodorant. I finally manned up and bought Nivea brand. Finally, a resolution to my the yellow pits syndrome. I bought solid white style, but they also offered the roll on variety. It made me think of when, as a kid, I would lick deodorant. Not good.

Anyway, back to the hostel and met Sam, from Scotland, who has more interesting stories than I do hairs on my ass (that’s a lot, but you’re not allowed to confirm this). One of his stories, the best I’ve ever heard, could easily be turned into a book or movie. Nathan, from Dallas, was also staying in the dorm. He and I talked for quite some time and at great length about Japan, working, and travel.

Woke and came to the office with the guys. Spent the entire day updating and only stopped for lunch. Felt good to get most of the writings out.

For dinner that left everyone stuffed for only $1/person. Then to play a game - Police and Killers - that I was interested in, but my language handicap kept me from really participating in. For a long walk and home late.

I scheduled an MSN chat with Yohei for 0900AM China time, 12 hours ahead of NYC. I woke around 0730 and got ready to go to the company with Wu Feng and Feng Yao Feng. We grabbed breakfast to go and arrived just before 0900AM. Chatted with Yohei and Takako and then started to write in my MS.

Headed to lunch with the crew, where I spilled soup on my jeans. I must say, although the restaurants can be smoky, the choptick papers are re-used, you have to shoo away flies, the chef may not always wear a shirt, and stray cats even wander in, I don’t think I could feel more comfortable than I do in these local establishments.

After a beer, I’m feeling loose and ready to write. My armpits are a little funky but I’m not stressing it. I’ll let my fingers flow and my emotions pour as I continue to update the backlog of dates, experiences.

After some updating, I returned home for a shower. The electricity in our building was out, so it was a cold one. The guys picked me up for dinner. The three of us, Eva, and Summer all piled into Chun Hao’s car and headed to a spot where we had to walk through the kitchen, and out the back door to find our seats in a smelly alley. When we arrived, two guys were fighting on the sidewalk.

The restaurant served bowls of oversized noodles in spicy soup. I’ve never sweated so much while eating. The bathroom doors, also located in the alley, kept opening when a bomb dropper needed to enter and the odor would creep over to our table. We took turns getting up to close the doors. The guy served suop on Summer’s beautiful yellow dress, but just laughed it off along with us.

After dinner (I ate 2 bowls and everyone else 1), we re-piled, but CH’s car was having some trouble. We managed to get to a mechanic, where we waited for two hours to get the part needed to fix the car. We passed the time by drinking mint flavored water and learning Sichuan dialect phrases.

We went home and Feng Yao Feng stripped to his boxers to fix the water flow on the air conditioner (the neighbors were complaining that they couldn’t sleep because it was dripping on their awning). He wore Yohei’s headlight, and looked quite amusing. I was tired, so slept just after 2200PM.

Woke this morning just before 1000AM. I needed to do some laundry and saw that Feng Yao Feng had already did his, as was evidenced by clothes hanging on the bars outside our windows. There was a bucket with white, cloudy water setting in the wash room, so I dipped in my hand to smell the contents. I concluded that the cloudiness was from laundry detergent that had been mixed in. Maybe FYF hadn’t finished his laundry, so he left the water there so he could complete the task upon returning from work? But he’s a nice guy, so I figured he wouldn’t mind me using his water.

I washed my clothes and hung them outside the my room. The clothes line was dirty, so I had to re-wash them all and clean the line. Just as I was finishing, around 1130AM, FYF returned from the company to pick me up for lunch. I asked if he minded me using his water. No, of course not, but it’s dirty, he said. We had a laugh over the ordeal and I was content to have my clothes relatively more clean, knowing that the heat I would encounter soon after I wear them wuld create such an outpuring of sweat from my body, that it didn’t much matter if I used clean water or not.

I took a quick shower and we headed to the company. All the employees, with the exception of Li Yang, who stayed back to answer the phone, and I went to a nearby restaurant for lunch. After lunch, Eva accompanied to some stores, where I bought supplies for the apartment ( e.g. plates, bowls, broom, toilet paper, clothes hanger, etc.). We surprised everyone with ice cream for a mid-afternoon snack. CH and Eva excorted me to the ATM and then dropped me at the apartment to unload the supplies.

After 6 weeks of letting my hair, and with the sun beating down on me everyday, Eva and I ventured across the street to a hair salon - “Tiger, Tiger, Tiger”. I’m pretty flexible when it comes to my hair style, especially since I’m travelling. And being The People’s Champ that I am, I excpeted that there might be some micsommunication between myself, Eva, and the hair stylist and, in the end, I would, more likely than not, walk out of the salon with a Chinese style cut. Well, the stylist had different thoughts and he gave me his version of an “American” cut - think Zack Morris from ‘Saved by the Bell’.

It was bu hao (not good), so I told him shave it all off. At that point, all eyes were really on me. The hair hit the floor, but my confidence was through the ceilign when Eva said how handsome I looked with my new cut. 20RMB and we were outta there.

Back to the office and after some travel research, myself, Chun Hao, Qi Yu, and Chun headed to a restaurant that, not to be outdone by the coffee shop named “Good Wood Coffee”, boasted “Big Bones”. It was a meat fest and we had to where protection in the form of a plastic glove. We crushed and dropped the others at the company.

Qi Yu drove me to meet Li Yan, who was having dinner, drinks with her co-workers, clients. We drove with her manager, Mr. Dong, to a KTV spot. Everyone was welcoming and the clients (as translated by her) said, “We don’t understand English and you dont understand Chinese, but just relax and enjoy yourself. We can can communicate by drinking and singing. And so we did.

As older gentleman, government workers, and I presume, CCP members, they belted out old Chinese patriotic songs praising Mao ZeDong and the Red Guard, while I showed them that ‘Backstreet’s Back’ and Mariah has a ‘Hero’. In the end, as Li Yan told me, I adapted well to them. But, to be honest, I don’t believe it is as much my ability to adapt as it is their openness and warmth that allowed us to have a great time together despite our cultural and language differences.

We took a stroll, a woman and a boy stopped us. Caught a taxi home.

After only a couple hours of sleep, I woke to accompany Ryoko to the airport. CH picked us up around 0630AM. So early in the morning, and with our destination being the airport, I was able to experience just how intense the traffic can be in this city of 12M. After seeing Ryoko off and returning to the apartment, I showered and laid down for a rest.

Feng Yao Feng picked me up for lunch and the two of us headed to a local spot across the street. We ordered fish and got the WHOLE fish. He was surprised, as was I. Having already eaten, he just took a few bites. We got the leftovers to go. His new pants got ripped on a nail sticking out of the wooden table we were sitting at. The waitress shrugged it off. We headed to the company and I got on email for the first time in what seemed like forever. I had taken so many pictures than needed to be uploaded, so I tried sending them to Paul. The files were so large that i could not complete the task by close of business, so Eva was kind enough to send them on my behalf the next day.

From the company, Qi Yu guided me to Li Yan’s office and took us to Sydney Coffee. We chatted over tea, ice cream, and pizza. When I wanted to ask for a menu, she assured me that the English word “menu” would be understood. So, without hesitation, I said, “Fu yen (waitress) Menu.” But the waitress just nodded and stared emptily at me. Why? Well, because she thought I said “Mei Nu” (beautiful woman), a term commonly used to call the attention of a woman whose name you do not know.

After eating, we went for a walk and Li Yan lead me to a towering statue of Chairman Mao holding out one hand with the other positioned behind his back. As Eva explained last week, locals joke that the Chairman is flagging down a taxi. Qi Yu also explained another version of the story: the Chairman proposed that all young men live in the countryside for 10 years (both hands held out), but after his belt broke and he was forced to reach behind to hold up his trousers, the policy became 5 years (one hand held out). I was feeling Chairman-esque, so when it came to to find a taxi, I did my best to mimic his pose.

We woke in the massage parlor just after 0700AM, washed, brushed, and headed for a quick, but filling (meat, baby!) breakfast. We proceeded to drive up the mountain to the entrance of Dujiangyan.

The Dujiangyan Irrigation Project is long-established water conservation works. It is 56 kilometers (34.8miles) west of Chengdu at Dujiangyan city lying in the middle reach of Minjiang River, which is the longest tributary of Yangtze River.

Since ancient times the Minjiang River has surged downward from Mt. Minshan thrusting itself into the Chengdu Plain. When reaching the flatlands the rivers speed slowed down abruptly. Thus the watercourse filled up with silt making this area extremely vulnerable to flooding. The people living on the Chengdu Plain consequently suffered a great deal from frequent floods.

Around BC 250 during the Warring States Period, Li Bing , a governor of Shu in Qin state (present Sichuan Province) with his son directed the construction of Dujiangyan. The governor gave up the old ways of dam building which was simply try to catch the floodwaters. Instead he employed a new method by channeling and dividing the water to harness the Minjiang River. He accomplished this by separating the project in to two main parts: the headwork and the irrigation system. The project effectively put the flooding waters under control.

For over two thousand years the whole system has functioned perfectly, serving as not only as flood prevention but also as an immense source for irrigation as well as a means to facilitate shipping and wood drifting. It has contributed greatly to the richness of Chengdu Plain and helps it earn its reputation as ‘The Land of Abundance’.

On November 29th, 2000, Dujiangyan was listed on world cultural heritages by UNESCO.After touring the spot, we headed to Hong Kou, another quick get away spot located about 45 minutes away. This spot is popular due to its Salmon raising farms and cool, shallow waters that visitors set up tables, chairs, and even umbrellas in.

After parking, as we headed up a hill to the Salmon farm, we bought a whole chicken, cooked in what appears to be paper bags. beggar’s style, I was told. Along with some other breaded snacks, we arrived at an outdoor farm, where we chose our fish and sat for some good eating. Once finished, we headed down the embankment and slipped off our shoes to wade in the rushing water.

We headed back to the apartment in ChengDu for a shower and quick rest. Then it was off for a hot pot party celebrating the end of work for the summer interns. I didn’t plan to drink, but once the alcohol was flowing, I could not resist the toasts of my comrades. Full stomach and intoxicated, we headed to karaoke for singing, dancing, and a dice (read: drinking) game that pushed me to the edge of vomiting. I gave the camera to Ryoko for some of the night so she could capture the events through her eyes.

CH took us home and Qi Yu was rolling by. He stopped and we took a walk and ended up at an internet cafe/tea house for a serious chat. He provided me some really valuable insights. I returned home around 0230AM, but after such an intense discussion, could not sleep. I blasted away in my MS, only to rip up some of it later on. Some things are better left in my head.

CH and Summer came by around 1000AM. CH fixed the lock on our door, but subsequently denied my marriage propsal, so I was full of mixed feelings as we headed to the ChengDu Panda Research Base. It was great to see pandas, but CH had the best overall assessment - “we were taken in”.

While sitting for a smoke break (not me), I yearned for something provocative, so decided throw out Taiwan and Tibetan independence as fire starters. After our conversation reached the temperture of the Sichuan heat, they decided to call it quites. I wanted to continue. I like debate, flame throwing. A rabble rouser after all? You make the call.

We headed back for lunch at a very nice restaurant. All the spices in the dishes hit me at once and I made a dash for the men’s room. I don’t want you to think I’m obsessed, or even pre-occupied with the toilet, but it is important to me, so I have to make a couple of points.

I believe squatting is may actually be more conducive to bowel movement than sitting in on a seat, but it is not nearly as comfortable. And, as I pointed out (after only a semi-successful trip) upon my return to the lunch table, in the US, the toilet is the only thing men have left. It is our sanctuary, an environment for idea generation and deep contemplation, so we need to be comfortable. A seat allows me that comfort. Squatting does not. It puts me back in the days of football training, when I worked so hard that I thought my legs were going to buckle under the pressure of my own weight.

Anyway, they thought I feel in, so my meditation was interrupted when I heard Summers voice yell, “Jesse!!?”

Back to the apartment for a rest. Qi Yu came with Li Yan to pick us up for an overnight trip to Mount QingCheng.

Mount Qingcheng, known as the fifth among the most famous Taoist mountains of China, is one of the places where Taoism came into being. With the snow-covered Mingshan Mountain in the background and the Chuanxi Plain in front, the evergreen Mount Qingcheng covers an area of over 120 kilometers. Altogether it has 36 peaks covered with thick forests of trees and bamboo, 72 caves and 108 scenic spots. It gets its name from the way the peaks resemble the structure of a city wall. The name Qingcheng means green city. Damian Mountain is its main peak and the Master’s Cave (Tianshitong) serves as its pivot. The mountain is well known for its serene scenery that contains halls and temples shaded by forests and enhanced by interesting legends and anecdotes.

We drove through the rain, which let up on our arrival, and dined riverside. A popular destination, the place was crowded, but nonetheless, I found it very relaxing. The scene, located only one hour from ChengDu, is one which lends itself to impulsive weekend getaways for couples and families alike. CH and Jiao meng joined us mid-dinner.

Once finished, we drove around searching for accomodation. No vacancy, except for (maybe) the hotel we saw burining. We no luck, we turned our eyes torward entertainment and settled settled outside a tea house. Sipping “crazy lovers” tea and playing “fight the landlord” next to a small river, everyone re-charged themselves.

Not much of card players, Ryoko and I took a stroll to explore the surrounding area. We found a public space that allowed anyone with the courage (no shoes, shirt, or talent required) to grab the mic and give it there best shot. A shotty amp produced gully sounds, but the idea of the people expressing themselves so openly was especially appreciated by me.

After returning from our walk, CH and JM returned to ChengDu and the rest of usdecided to improvise in order to meet our accomodation needs. Being after 0100AM, we were allowed to stay the night at a massage parlor. We got thai style massages and slept the night away. The only outlier was my zipper. After a week or so of wear and tear, the stitching on the velcro is not as tight as I would like, so I when the guy started with all the leg movement, I’m sure he wondered what was open with the trap door. Hope he didnt think I was sending him and signal.

We woke and headed to breakfast at 0830 AM. We loaded up the bus and made our way to Emei Shan.

Emei Shan is one of the 4 most sacred Buddhist mountains in China. The undulating peaks, covered with lush forests and green bamboo occupy an area of more than 300 sq km in the southwest of Sichuan province.

Emei Shan is the general name for 3 mountains, Da’e (Great E), Er’e (Second E) and San’e (Third E). The mountains are majestic, quiet and serene and acclaimed in China as “a Beauty under Heaven”.

Visitors are drawn to Emei Shan either as a place of pilgrimage or simply to scale the magnificent heights. Most of the monasteries and temples at Emei Shan were built during the Eastern Han dynasty (25-220AD), while others were added later. As a well-known Buddhist sanctuary of Samantabhadra, Emei Shan once had more than 100 monasteries.

The main temples and scenic areas are: Baoguo Monastery, Wannian Monastery, Fuhu (Ambushing Tiger) Monastery, Leiyin (Thunder Sound) Monastery, Chunyang Hall, Qingyin (Pure Tone) Tower, Heilongjiang plank road, Hongchun Ping, Xianfeng (Fairy Peak) Monastery, Xixiang (Wash Elephant) Pool, Golden Summit, Huayan Top, and White Dragon Cave.

When we arrived at Emei, it started to rain lightly. We had the option of taking a cable car to the top or walking. Ryoko took the car. Of a group of 20 or so, only myself, Cheng Jie, his uncle and older cousin put our legs to use. We sweated so much that the rain didn’t matter, but I felt good to use my body.

Cheng Jie is 16. He is from Beijing, but is visiting his uncle in ChengDu during his summer vacation. He lived in the Washington DC for one year (2001-02) while his father was working there. His cousion is 18.

After making it to the top, which is not exactly the top, we visited a temple. I received compliments for my Beastie Boys T from a guy residing from S. Carolina (now lives in Okinawa, Japan. Speaks Japanese and Chinese. I’m jealous.) After the temple, the groups gathered under some shelter. Just as I passed underneath, one of the shingles from the roof fell off. I got lucky. Cheng Jie’s uncle said he had prayed for me earlier at the temple.

After seeing a crowd of people, I walked over to find them feeding monkey’s. A little boy was giving food to the monkey and was all smiles. That is, until the monkey attacked him. He had his back turned and the monkey jumped him from behind, biting his back and sratching him. The Mother of the boy was angry, first at the boy, and then the monkey, who she tried to fight. But the monkey had back up (think the Bushwackers from WWF - tag team action). She swung her purse, the monkey dodged her and gave a ooh oooh oooooooooooooh. LOL. It was all comical to me.

Then, in the true spirit of commercialization, someone gave the monkey a bottle of Coke. He loved it.  Wait until you see the photos.

We ate lunch and drank some read alcohol. Visited another temple and then headed to the monkey park. Some of the monkeys snatch things from people’s bags and others just got down in front of everyone. It was all good, clean entertainment to me.

We walked down the mountain and went for dinner. Yes, they did put that unused rice back in the cooker for future patrons. By the time our bus arrived (1.5 hours after dinner), the window was fixed, so I only got a snap of the new window taped in.

We got back to ChengDu around 2200PM and were received by Qi Yu and Chun Hao. Summer and CH took us for a foot massage and bahuoguan, or cupping, a traditional Chinese therapeutic treatment. The “guan” is a small round vessel with one end open. First some cotton is burned inside the vessel so as to reduce the air inside and achieve less air pressure inside the vessel than out. Then the vessel can stick to small areas of skin. Since the inside of the vessel is greatly lacking in air, the vessel will be pressed by the air outside and suck up the skin in this air tightly, stimulating the points underneath. This generates the qi, which is essential for health. The skin accumulates more blood, and the white cells are strengthened in this area and even over the whole body. Since cupping is simple and creates rare after- or side effects, it is widely used on the waist, belly, hips, shoulders and neck. Check out the pics of my back.

Anyway, the foot massage turned into a full body massage and the woman was coming quite close to my friend. And, to be honest, after not being touched (editors note: being bumped on the crowded streets of China does not count as “touched”) for quite sometime, I was feeling slightly tempted to leap into action. Kidding, maybe. You be the judge. Lucky for me there was a nature show on TV to keep me pre-occupied. That, and I kept telling myself - ‘this is something to blog about, this is something to blog about, this is something to…too late…’

We got dropped off and decided to go out. It was about 0230AM. We tried to leave but our lock broke, so our door wouldn’t shut. We decided to leave it as is and worry about it later. Just on our corner is a vendor who has a big tricycle with a flat bed and grill. You choose the skewered meat and he fires it up. Beers are 3RMB (that’s less than 50 cents). You sit on a stool and a table 2.5 feet from the ground). I drank most of the beer and ate most of the food and even did most of the talking.

Our total was 21RMB and I gave them 25RMB and just said keep the change. The owners, a husband, wife, and their little girl refused and said coming back another time would be enough for them. Ryoko pointed out that maybe they think I am a foreigner with a lot of money and that I feel sorry for them. The truth is, I was trying to show my gratitude in the form of a gratuity. I know how hard I worked for that 4 extra RMB and I thought that their product, service, and labor was a fair exchange.

We headed back around 0430AM and before heading inside talked about my actions from the other night. Specifically, me buying the bucket of flowers from the little girl. Ryoko said she never buys such things from those little kids because they are actually working for someone else and don’t get the money that they bring in. Also, she seems not to like the idea of children working so late at night. She said that I did not improve the condition of anyone, but instead, made the other kids who I did not buy from, “miserable”.

Well, of course, I couldn’t disagree anymore. And, as I explained, I’m not sure who the girl is working for. But I know she is working. And I’m not against that. This is not the US or Japan. I understand that this may be a necessary condition for the girl’s survival. And even if it’s not, I still put her in a situation that would require her to make a decision, to sharpen her skills. That is, I paid a lot more for the flowers than they were worth. So even if she is reporting back to someone, she has the opportunity to lie and pocket the difference between the cost to her supplier and the revenue from me. She can use this to money for whatever she chooses, and more importantly, this situation as an opportunity to learn about business.

Chun Hao picked us up at 0600AM and dropped us off at the same hotel that was the pick up spot for our trip to Jozhaigou. We boarded the bus and took a seat toward the back for a different perspective. I was exhausted from a night of heavy drinking, and passed out soon after I sat. 

It must have only been a few minutes later, but I woke to shouting from the front of the bus. Drunk with curiosity, I stood with everyone else and moved closer to see what all the commotion was about. In seconds, the driver took off, passengers out of seats, and door open. As he tried to make his escape and close the door, a crashing sound struck us all. It wasn’t contact with another vehicle, but the sound of glass breaking after an angry man threw two rocks through the door of the bus. The bus stopped and the man took off running. No one gave chase. We continued our journey with a broken window.

After about 2.5 hours, we arrived in Le Shan, home of He Ru and the world’s largest Buddha. We de-boarded and walked about 20 minutes to the entrance. Even early in the morning, the heat was heavy and we accumulated beads of sweat with each step we took. As we made our way up the mountain to the top of the Buddha, our tour guide only stopped briefly to describe the other, smaller Buddhas that had been left form ancient times. She seemed rushed and talked very fast. Not that I could understand her anyway - it was all in Chinese. Anyway, I don’t like to feel rushed.

We saw the Buddha, which was indeed big, but not well maintained. The world’s second largest Buddha, which I saw in Japan, was much better kept. Check the pictures I took nonetheless, as it is a sight to see. After checking him out, we made our way to some shaded shelter, where the tour guide, a young, semi-cute, but a little to rough thing talked fast and furious about something.

She could only be stopped when one of our travellers interrupted to complain of a bottled tea he bought that was past its expiration date. It seemed he wanted her to do something about it. But, in her mind, the vendor who sold it to him had no relation to her, so he should take care of it himself. She obliged nonetheless, attitude in hand, and they approached the vendor together to exchange the tea. As he came back to the table he noticed once again that he was given an expired tea. He complained again and the vendor approached our table.

Now everyone was involved - the guy, the guide, the kid sitting next to me, the grandmas at one end of the table. Everyone hand an opinion of some sort. It was pure comedy.

After the show, we boarded the bus and headed down the road for lunch. I went outside to use the bathroom (I should say “WC” - Water Closet, as it is called here) to take a piss, but the faucets weren’t working so I couldn’t wash my hands. No worries, I thought, my immune system is really being tested here anyway, so I was just about to make my way back into the restaurant. A young Chinese guy that was also using the WC gave me a funny look and said, “Do you want to wash your hands?”

I confirmed and he told me to follow him. He was a dish washer or cook, I’m not sure which. An employee nonetheless, so he took me to the kitchen and allowed me to use their facilities. He then introduced himself and said, “Welcome to Le Shan.” As I made my way back to the table, all 8 people were waiting for me, along with a full bowl of rice, to begin dining. Too nice, these folks, I thought.

After lunch, we drove a ways to our hotel near Emei Shan, where would visit the next day. We arrived around 1630PM and, so tired from the past 24 hours, I slept through dinner and into the next morning.

We returned from Jiuzhaigou yesterday and I was ready to set out on our next excursion today, but luckily Ryoko vetoed me. For had we set out, I would have not had such a wonderful experience as I did today. one of the best to date in on my entire trip.

Qi Yu told me the night before that Eva (Xiang Wen)would be taking care of me for the day.I slept until around 1100AM, when Eva and Feng Yao Feng arrived at the apartment. Eva had tried to call Ryoko’s mobile, but it was out of minutes. We got ready, and were off in the hands of Eva.

Let me tell you all a little about her. If you can’t love Eva, then you can’t love yourself. She’s short, of the petite sorts, with a smile that would melt even the coldest of hearts, and a style that is all her own. But she’s so sweet, like your favorite candy, and pure, like water from Jozhaigou. Besides, a girl who uses a chop stick to tie up her hair is okay in my book anyday. Oh yeah, and she always asks why I wear two t-shirts at a time.

We set off and, at my request, we took a bus to our destination. It was a double decker, my first time riding on such a bus. We made our way to the top of the overcrowded, A/C-less vehicle. After 10 minutes or so we came to our stop and I accidentally hit a small girl in the head when I was getting off. No worries, people here are not so sensitive.

Ryoko bought a phone card as we waited for Eva’s friend Stella, a 19 year old student with superb English skills. We continued to Chunxi Lu (road), a fashionable strip with many restaurants and shops, where we ate lunch. I wasn’t hungry, so I had very little, but Eva bought me two bottles of cold water to keep me hydrated in the heat.

We walked Chunxi and talked about various topics. I asked Stella the standard, “What does your average Chinese think about Americans?” After opining, she asked me the reverse, and I gave her a “clever” response, saying, “The average American doesn’t think about Chinese”.

When the window shopping was done, we decided to go to a nail shop. The shop, located in a small space in a market that sells very cheap goods, was occupied by young (22 and under) ChengDu girls getting hair, nails, and makeup done. Ryoko and Eva got there nails done with stylish patterns, while Stella declined, claiming the equipment was too dirty. As for me? Well, I just enjoyed the sites.

When they were finished, we headed to McDonald’s for ice cream. Somehow I brought up Taiwan and Tibet, and the heat would have melted my cone had I not inhaled it so quickly. The manager yelled at Ryoko for drinking bottled water that wasn’t sold in McDonald’s. Nazi!

Then we headed to a dinner arranged by Qi Yu’s childhood friend, Yu Fang, now a police officer/inquisitor, preparing to be a part of the forensics unit. The setting was beautiful. He arranged for a private room with traditional, beautiful Chinese decor. We were having Hot Pot, of course. Yu Fang’s cousin, a young, handsome guy, around my age joined us, along with Summer, Chuna Hao, and later, Li Yan.

Yu Fang started by toasting with me. Qi Yu said it is a challenge that is done when you first meet someone. You must drink the whole glass. I did, and we kept toasting, and toasting, and toasting. I was toasted. The dishes served with hot pot do not include any bread, rice, or other absorbent dishes. Qi Yu warned me after the first couple of toasts that I should take it easy because we were going to a bar later.

So, realizing that a bar meant whisky, I knew this was going to be a long night. I ordered a bowl of rice and tried to drink as much tea as possible to dilute the alcohol. Qi Yu had to leave early but Yu Fang told me not to worry because him being there is just the same as Qi Yu being there. It was a kind thing to say.

The problem was, we were sitting the whole time, just drinking. So when we stood up, I really got hit. I fought it off and we piled into Yu Fang’s SUV and headed to Munchen 1810, a German bar that didn’t exactly feel German. We took a booth and some of Yu Fang’s friends, colleagues joined us. After taking a long (1 minute plus) piss, I felt better and had confidence that I could continue the night with some drinking.

But some is not what I met. There was lots. Thankfully for me, the Chinese mix their whiskey with tea, so the shots aren’t pure. Nonetheless, the quantity of drinking catches up and it all balances out in the long run.

I don’t know if it was the all historic drug and alcohol abuse in my family that provided some built in resistance or if it was all the drinking that I did before leaving NYC, but I can state, categorically, that I have never drank more in my life than I did on this night. And I didn’t erl.

Anyway, we talked money, communism, and the likes. I had beautiful looking after me, so I was not worried. I traded shots of tea/whiskey with gulps of hot water (same ol’ Jesse, baby!) and when I finally said I couldn’t drink anymore, my comrades were understanding. I did it my way and, in the process of doing so, did it their way.

We headed outside, where little kids were selling roses. Seeing there were four beautiful women in our party, could not resist. As the young girl (10 or less) started to walk away, I ran after her and asked how much for a rose. 3RMB she said. I gave her a Benjamin, well I guess it’s Mao here (but all the notes here are Mao’s ,even the 1RMBs). I mean I gave her a 100RMBs and took all the flowers out of the bucket and divided them between the beauties.

Call it irrational exuberance or Ohio charm, your boy J. Sestito gets down like that!!!!

Anyway, this was just the beginning of the night. We headed home and met one car accident. Sometimes, in China, there is no formal means of resolving such an incident. You just pay the guy to hit and go on your way. No police, no claims adjuster, just you and him. Just as we arrived at our apartment, we met a second car accident.

When we arrived home, we were met by an army of roaches (”GokiBuri” for my J friends). We fought vigorously, like the Red Army against infidels. 10, 20, 30, the body count was rising exponentially. It was late. Ryoko retired, our roach killing MVP. Wu Feng and I stayed up and had a serious chat. We talked freedom, opportunity, dissatisfaction, and living the life we want - our own life, not someone else’s.  I didn’t sleep.

We woke around 0600AM and went to the hotel restaurant for a quick and simple breakfast consisting of rolls, rice soup, and some side dishes of which I did not partake. We loaded up and headed just a few minutes away to a tea market. Our group was treated to various types of teas and the health benefits of each explained to us. After 30 minutes or so, the pitch was over and few, if any purchased the tea. Next destination was a speed bought ride. Only a few in our group decided to participate, and the others in our group got back on the bus to to travel to the destination of the boat ride, where we would all meet and continue from.

At both destinations, I met people who would speak to me in English or, if they did not speak English, make some effort to communicate. After sitting next to an older woman and offering her some of my snack (which she refused), she offered (read: forced) me to a yellow plum they had bought. She shoved another in my bag for the road. Others joined our ad hoc conversation, some who spoke few words of English, and others who didn’t. In any case, we managed to piece together a conversation that, though simple, left all parties with a smile on their face.

After the wet ones boarded the bus, we headed to a factory/shop that uses bull horns to to create different items. Some decorative, such as fish, others functional, such as combs, tobacco pipes, and back sratchers. We browsed the selections but, in typical fashion, didn’t buy. That was the last shopping stop of the day.

On our way back to ChengDu, the imagery was too much for me too handle. It was more than my eyes could capture, process. Even a camera could not do it justice. I just soaked it up best I could I wished that you were here beside me so we could synthesize together. 

Herding goats down a mountainside, horses, cows. The rainbow after climbing the mountains out of Huang Long. Rock/mud slides that closed half the road. Truck turned over after taking the sharp turn too quickly.

After a few more hours of driving, we stopped off for lunch on the side of the road.  We ate quickly and re-boarded, anxious to return to ChengDu, about 50KM away. We dropped our driver off at his home and a new, more talkative, less attentive, and slower guy took the helm. Chun Hao received us at the hotel and dropped us off at Qi Yu’s place.

Qi Yu came to get us and took us to a 4 bedroom apartment that was being rented for his employees. This would be our new home. Wu Feng and Feng Yao Feng would be our roommates.

After dinner, Chun Hao, Summer, Ryoko and myself went to see ‘Crazy Stone’, an Andy Lau film that, although entirely in Chinese, left me laughing all the way through.

We woke at 0600AM and ate breakfast at the hotel. We boarded the bus and were (so I thought) Huang Long bound. Much to my surprise, we were guided to a shop where crystal products were being sold by local people. I was groggy eyed and didn’t care to look. I stepped off the bus only to take some photos and a piss (not necessarily in that order).

Back on the bus, I was soon to learn that this was not the only stop of these sorts. Next was the dried beef spot, and then the traditional Chinese medicine store, all places that the guides receive kick backs from for guiding their groups to.

Finally, after a morning of being lead by the balls to various shops, we made our way to Huang Long.Huang Long, meaning “Yellow Dragon”, lies in the south part of Min Mountain in Song Pan County of Sichuan in southwest China. It was denominated a special scenic spot of China in 1982 and entered into “The Natural Legacy Lists of the World” in 1992. It covers an area of about 700 square kil