I can’t remember if I ever wrote about this girl I met a while back. It was before another night of clubbing. We went to eat street meat and I asked where the bathroom was. The boss said there wasn’t a bathroom, so I broke out some local dialect, got loud and loose - which Chendgu girls love - and before I knew it, I had a girl yelling “handsome guy” (that’s the rough, pretty corny/lame translation, but in Chinese it sounds cool…believe me) to get my attention.

Anyway, I started talking to this girl and her friend. They were semi-cute. I had my friends with me - two Chinese and another fo fo foreigner. The Chinese pretended to be Koreans and the girls ate it up, telling them how good their Chinese was, etc. It was fun and we exchanged numbers. One of the girls texted me and I set up a dinner with her and the friend. At the dinner, I was trying to make conversation and told her I wanted to buy a new phone and asked for her help. I wasn’t really too serious, but she was happy to help and set up a day and time to meet.

Anyway, the day was crazy because we took the bus everywhere and then back and back again and everywhere and I was just hungry. Feed me, woman! And I didn’t know her motive. I just wanted to go to a regular place, but she took me to a shady place and I got a cheap phone from her “friend”, but maybe she got a commission. I don’t know. HJ warned me about this this type of scheme when I first met him. It reminded me of high school when our mission was to get our friends with part-time jobs to “hook us up” with free socks, hamburgers, sneakers, whatever. As long as it was a “hook up” or a “plug”, we were happy. So I was a little nostalgic. Maybe for that reason and also because she is generally a cool girl to hang with her (she is fun and more relaxed with me than most Chengdu girls), I didn’t care her motive.

But the problem is this. She thinks my Chinese is better than it actually is. I gave her the wrong initial impression, so she just rattles of sentences in local dialect like it is nothing. Well, to her it is nothing. Actually, she can’t speak Mandarin, so maybe this is unavoidable. Maybe she has same idea, because once she said, “I’m not sure how much you understand?”. And, of course, just to perpetuate this whole thing, which is kinda amusing, I said 70% or more. Besides, if you tell people you don’t understand, they won’t speak to you and then you won’t learn Chinese. That’s my belief, at least. So just nod and smile. Or maybe it is grunt “Oh” if you are in Chengdu.

Anyway, we only met those two times, because after that I got into this 2005 50 Cent “Get Rich or Die Tryin’” phase and have been staying busy with work ever since. But, we stayed in touch by phone. A few weeks later my new phone broke. I can send messages, but not talk. The other end can hear me, but I can’t hear them. So I sent out this bulk text message saying that until further notice, everyone needs to text me or call my office. But this girl keeps calling my phone. Everyday. She refuses to send messages. But I won’t answer the phone because I have already given notice. It’s principle. It’s like Office Space. She didn’t get the memo? And I won’t send a text saying, “what do you want?” because I think if it is important, then she should text me.