Courtesy of MS.

After the earthquake, everyone started wearing t-shirts that say “I {heart} China”. Most are rip offs of the “I {heart} NY” design, but some vary a little, like the one that says, “I {outline of China} ONLY”. I guess it means they only love China? That’s my personal favorite, of course, and the one I was planning to buy before one of my colleagues, not wanting me to be left out of the revolutionary zeal, bought me a different one. I’d like to share it with all of you. Please forgive the fact that Chna is misspelled.

I hadn’t watched his show for nearly two years, so I consider myself lucky to have caught Tim Russert interview Sen. Obama live on MTP a few weeks back, prior to his untimely death earlier today. One thing I always admired about Russert was his fastidious preparation of his guest’s historical statements and calling them out on their flip flops. He’ll be missed.

I’m in Shanghai airport right now. I met a woman who came here from Omaha, Nebraska to get her son stem cell treatment. And this guy was conspicuously, obsessively shooting, taking video of me while I looked for an outlet. btw, free wireless here. Can the airports in the US get with the program, please!

Update: I read an article that said CCTV covered the vigil for the first time, but billed it as one for the victims of the earthquake without mentioning the events from ‘89.

Gotta check out my close friend and former roommate getting busy on the canvas.

Kadar Brock’s second solo exhibition at BUIA gallery in Chelsea opens Thursday, May 1. Details below.

HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH
Kadar Brock
www.kadarbrock.com
May 1st – May 31st, 2008
Opening reception: Thursday, May 1st, 6-8 pm

BUIA GALLERY
541 W 23rd St
NY NY 10011
www.buiagallery.com

I can count on both hands the people in China whom I couldn’t live without. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank five of them. These guys have, seriously, gotten me through countless karaoke sessions during my time here. And maybe even laid a few times. Thanks, fellas.

Chinese President Hu Jintao lights an industrial sized “zhong hua” brand cigarette, in Beijing Monday afternoon.

Creative Credit: MS啊

want this lwife

The VC says, “I’m just not sure about this. It seems too cute to work. The industry is still in it’s infant stages…”

Having encountered this argument before, the entrepreneur has come prepared. Out of his chair, two hands on the table, leaping across the table, and in a raised voice, he cuts off the VC: “Too cute? Too infantile? Look, I’m like knut. Not a nut, but like knut. You know knut?”. He reaches into his brief case and pulls out a photo. “This is knut”, he says, holding the photo (seen below) inches from VC’s face. The VC leans back. “That’s right, lean back (editor’s note: curbs urge to reference Fat Joe’s hit) maybe it’ll give you some perspective”.

There’s a brief and awkward silence, and then his voice, this time much lower, resumes. “This is my business today. Cute and infantile, just like knut was a year ago”. Seated, he again reaches into the brief case and pulls out another photo (seen below). Sliding it across the table like an offer for a negotiation, he says calmly, “This is my business one year from now”.

It affects your judgment.

Everyone has been talking about this new club. So last night we went to check it out. Upon arrival, I realized we’d been to this club once before - about three months ago - but it was too packed to play. Last night, we got there early (9pm), but it was already too crowded - no tables available. We decided to look for another place. But before doing that, I needed to use the restroom. As we crossed the toilet threshold, my friend pointed to the sign - “No Japanese allowed”, written in Chinese. And while waiting, I noticed the walls decorated with loads of anti-Japanese posters, signs, pictures of Koizumi, etc. Maybe that is why the place is so popular?

If I had to make a list of things that surprised me when I first arrived in China, toward the top would be the level of hate and obsession Chinese have toward Japanese. We all know, understand, and acknowledge the root of this angst, but I don’t know why Chinese fail to comprehend that when they go on and on and on about the Japanese, it just makes them look weak and insecure. Not to themselves, of course, but to objective outsiders. Not even being able to let go in a place of relaxation and entertainment? It’s kinda pitiful in my view. Moreover, it distracts attention and energy away from the areas where China, Chinese people are strong and (need to be) making tremendous progress.

It sometimes feels as if I’m living in a society full of accountants - viewing the world on a purely historical basis. It’s incessant. Whenever I meet someone for the first time these are the standard ice breakers:

Where are you from?
How long have you been here?
Are you studying or working?
How much do you make?
You know we (Chinese) hate Japanese.

UPDATE: Thought I should provide a translation of the parts of the picture that aren’t in English. It says, “We have more than 10 times your population. No more sushi for you”.

Sent in from an “expat DJ”. Captured on his way to work.

In fact, Southeast Asia has it all over China in the moto game. 4 is standard on the Honda motos, which are smaller than the bike seen above. I once saw 5 people sharing one in Cambodia. And one traveler claimed to have seen 6.

Cute beyond all belief. The little girl’s also a cutie pie;-) She took a liking to me. Following me around and generally shadowing my pattern of childish behavior at WF’s Mom’s birthday celebration.

Nike’s baby! That’s me on the far left, a beauty in the middle, and WF on the right (he took the pic)

This is my co-worker, ZJX. She is soooooo….taken. What a pity, right? This is at the company party after a lot to drink.

Perhaps the most enriching part of living in China is being able to interact with the generation who grew up during the Cultural Revolution. Most who I can “touch” are established business people, say the owner of a small factory, real estate developer or construction contractor. None of them received a college education and many never graduated from High School. Self-made, they are newly wealthy but maintain the roughness that got them where they are today. A map of China’s modern history is written on their faces, hidden beneath their fingernails, stuffed in their pop bellies, and exposed in those charmingly imperfect grins. They are concerned with money, but not so pre-occupied by it that they neglect other issues like politics and “culture”. When they tell their rags to riches stories, they speak in terms of decades. You listen as hard as you can to catch their words before they are washed by any interpreter. They are funny and direct. Warm and open. Pure, but definitely not innocent. They are startling different from the generation that followed them.

Smoking while eating is like refilling a glass of water. Over the course of a 2-2.5 hour meal, it can easily happen 10 times.

Liu Zong and I

你好！新年好！

I’m back from Spring Festival. WF welcomed me to his hometown, Pengzhou, about an hour away from Chengdu. The city is small, with about 700K people. The experience was one of the greatest I’ve had outside of the States and definitely since being in China. Not only was I able to experience the new year, but also join (not watch) a wedding. And I rekindled my off and on relationship with bai jiu (Chinese white wine - nasty as hell, but a great result). Just can’t keep her at bay. We ate and drank in excess the whole time. One night, at home, we had 14 dishes on the table. 13 of which were meat.

The night before the wedding there was a party. There was so much food that we were literally stacking 3 levels of dishes on top of each other to fit it all on the table. Most people ate quickly and left because, saving themselves for the next days festivities. Not us. All the guys went to karaoke and finally to xiao kao (outdoor BBQ), where, after absurd amounts of drinking, I gave a toast: “Brothers drink until we throw up”. I drank and immediately threw up. We slept for just a few hours that night.

The best way I can describe the wedding is…..CRUNK! All the guys gathered at the groom’s house at 7AM. We set of fireworks and decorated the cars and then went to the bride’s house. Her friends try to keep the groom out, so we have to help in bust in. First the apartment building door, then the apartment door, and finally her bedroom. It’s super exciting. Finally he grabs the bride and carries her to the living room. They offer his parents some tea and then he carries her away. More fireworks. Back to his house for the offering of tea to the parents. It sounds formal but it’s not. It’s fast and casual. Only the bride, groom, and best man were dressed up.

By this time it’s about 930. We eat something. I have to go to the bathroom. The restaurant is basically a converted storage space behind a cinema. No bathroom. But a public one is available. No stalls or doors. No problem. I choose the 3rd space from the door. Opening the door gives a clear shot at me. A guy is already in #5. He finishes and as he walks out spots my face. He’s so surprised he stops in his tracks and stares at me. I smile like, yeah, we handle business just like you. He smiles back and walks out.

At 11 we arrive at the restaurant where the wedding is held. Outside, the groom greets everyone with an offer of 2 cigarettes and the bride with 2 pieces of candy. She lights your squares. You give a red envelope of money if you didn’t already the night before. 12 noon, it starts. All the guys line the aisle. We have these huge “poppers”. They come walking down and we explode these things all over. At the same time, fireworks that are lining the aisle shoot in the air. We’re inside, though! And no one expected it, so people are like WTF?!, moving their chairs and jumping out of the way to avoid catching on fire.

Complete rowdiness. I love it. They go on stage and offer the parents tea and receive red envelopes of money in return. They say a few words and that’s it. It’s kinda hectic because all the groom’s friends are crowding the stage, so most people probably couldn’t see. It’s was not what I would classify as romantic, but was definitely fun. I want one like that. Just a big party.

Then we sit down to eat. Everyone is so spent from the night before and the morning rush that it’s touch to tackle the food and bai jiu that are waiting for us. Finally, one guy says, “he jiu?” (drink?). We all nod.
Other highlights: I played ma jiang and then got angry when they wouldn’t let me gamble my money with the pros. I didn’t know WF had told them not to let me. haha. I drove in China for the first time. I bought new jeans. I grew my beard the whole time. And a lot of other things I can’t put in writing. Check out some pics courtesy WF.

Me, Ma, and WD

Da Ma Jiang

A walk in the park. WF, WD, and me.

Me, LL (groom), and WL (bride)

Love, Love, Love

Going for the wedding candy on a string.

Trying to eat, drink.

Me and HL drinking tea.

Pics from my birthday dinner courtesy Zhang Jian Xin. Bump those stuffy banquets where you gotta spin the wheel of food. Hot pot is the perfect setting for birthdays or meals hosting large groups of people.
Me and the fellas fighting over a dumpling. 都那么帅啊！

The ladies. 都是姐妹儿！

中国的最好的设计师和我说： 日你的。。。

How to drink? Like this. 怎么喝呢？别是笨蛋喝这样。。。

The cake with cool candle.

That’s 3, 4, and 1! Tones, baby! I’m your master.

Back from the trip with the notorious HJ and his Mother, and Wife, which are both much better looking than him. One day was snowing and super cold, so we were forced to drink bai jiu. It was my first snow since leaving the US, so I was happy nonetheless. The next was better suited for sightseeing and picture taking, some of which are included below (credit: HJ). I did not include any pictures of me looking stupid (there are plenty) or the one of a tree that looks like a…camel toe. Also, I’m a camel.

This was taken at a rest area on our way up the mountains. The old lady rockin’ the pink slippers was smokin’ some heavy weight shit in her pipe. Anyway, HJ pretended to take a picture of me, while actually snapping them. We’re so discrete it’s not even funny.

This is at the same rest stop. That sign is a promo for the one-child policy.

Snow.A camel. A dinosaur.

Leaves.